Black Hair Care Chronicles VI Before - After  
I Colored My Hair!!!  So I finally went ahead and colored the gray. I wasn't really crazy about the gray in the front of my hair. Made me look old in my view which comes in handy on the subway. In real life, not so much. I just wasn't sure what I wanted to do. Maybe go red or blonde just to see what it's like? My hair is so short now that I felt I might be able to play with it a bit more before it grows in to my full fro. I recall in the past that each time I lightened my hair I was unhappy with it and wished I had either left the chemicals out or gone black instead. I made the decision that going black would be the best thing.
The only problem though is that when I went black before the black color never lasted. It didn't really cover all the gray or have any staying power no matter how 'Permanent' the dye claimed to be. Also I was apprehensive about using a chemical on my hair. I've come so far in going natural. I didn't want to lessen the integrity of my hair, at least not too much. The only dye that seems to saturate the gray and avoid chemicals that are too harsh is Natural Instincts Midnight Black. Don't be fooled folks, Natural Instincts does have a mild chemical in it.  You'll know as soon as you smell it or feel it on the rosacea around the nose. Ouch! I could live with the levels though. The only problem with the NI is that it is TOO black. It comes out an unnatural black that makes me look like an old person trying to look young, something I didn't want. The next color down from that was Egyptian Plum which wasn't what I wanted either. I decided to go with the Midnight black and temper it with some Manic Panic Divine Wine. So what do you think? I still find it a bit dark but it seems to have toned down in subsequent washes. I didn't think it would because I expected to see dye released every time I cowashed. This did NOT happen. The stuff didn't stain at all like I thought it would. I feared it would stay overly dark but it seems to have gotten better. I suppose overall I'm happy with it. Much happier than having the ashen look of graying temples. My problem now is I hate having short hair. 
 I feel like I need a change. Going back to perms is out of the question. I thought I might have it blown or pressed straight but I don't like the idea of putting heat on my hair. I'm thinking of going and getting some braids put in but the braids are so danged expensive. May hair is in good condition and doing well, I'm just getting impatient with it. Going natural is such a big commitment. Getting to the point where I want to be will take years. In the meantime I am living with hair that isn't really me, or at least it isn't what I'm used to. I will say though that caring for it hasn't been the big problem I thought it would be. It's soft and manageable, something I was told even as a child my hair could never be in its natural state. Dealing with this hair has been easier than any hairstyle I've ever had. Product usage is minimal. In the above picture I cowashed and sprayed my hair with glitter. I added some violet color contacts just for flair but it just wasn't the same. Not as dramatic as I prefer to be for a special evening. The hair always looks the same and I'm getting bored and frustrated not being able to change my look according to the occasion and the mood.
Since the last time I posted a Chronicle a lot has happened. I discovered that my hair responds poorly to conditioners with silicones in it. Silicon, Dimethicone - any conditioner with a 'cone in it will hinder the curls.  Silicone is added to most conditioners as an ingredient to enhance hair's shine. Basically what it does is it coats the entire hair shaft in a thin sheet of plastic. Unfortunately this additive confuses the curl patterns in my hair. From what I discovered online this is very common for people with curly hair, hence the term "cone free conditioner" has become a catch phrase. Just about every conditioner on the market has 'cones in it except for the deep protein conditioners all of which are too strong for my purposes. Protein conditioners tend to make hair hard. It's used mostly to restore strength to hair that has been damaged through coloring, chemicals and environmental stress. Otherwise it's not really what I need. Thankfully the solution was a lot simpler than what I thought it might be. Alberto VO5 came to my rescue as all of the conditioners are completely cone free. Also they are all only 99 cents a bottle. I can cowash with them every day if I like and it would still be economical. The only thing that irks me about the conditioners is that they have very strong fragrances to them. I dread what bugs and flying varmints will circle about my head this summer smelling the champagne, camomile and melon smoothie fragrances seeped into my hair shaft.  I'd rather have something that is fragrance free though I doubt that will keep the bugs away. They seemed to always love my hair no matter what but that was when it was permed. Who knows what will happen now. All I know is that I've been feeling really discouraged about my hair lately. Everything about it going better than I imagined so I shouldn't be. I'm just not happy with the look right now. I know that going natural is a big commitment. It takes a lot of patience and when my hair finally gets to the stage where I want it to be the rewards will be so worth it. I just have to stick to it but there are days when it's hard. Wigs look so cheap and trifling but I'm thinking I may go that rout just to break things up a bit. *sigh* I don't know. I do know that I've blown a few pence on clothes this week due to insecurities about my hair. Retail therapy.  Some News: I'm 95% sure I've got a paying gig coming up! A friend of mine from high school tipped me off to this band that is looking for four singers. They want two female and two male vocalists for their high end band that performs at upscale weddings and other venues. The band members are made up of Boston Pops players, Berklee College of Music faculty members and various freelance artists. They've been around for a while but I guess they are trying to start a second band with a second set of singers and have been looking. My name was put in the hat as a possible candidate and I have a rehearsal with them this Wednesday.
My shopping spree and critical assessment of my image is partly due to this new set of circumstances. For quite some time I've been letting myself go. My mission was to let myself go and then build up from there into something that was livable and appropriate to the person I am. Unfortunately life does tend to go on without you so in my quest things have been coming up that require me to speed things up.  Couple that with my hair having no versatility and it has been a rather grim picture compared to the flashy street diva I used to be. At one time I had things on hand for whatever came up. Lately my focus has been more on being comfortable with no fuss. Not that there's anything wrong with that, I like it and it will still be my focus. But music and performing is all about image and I've always done well with that. Lately not so much. So I'm forging my way ahead anew, looking myself over and trying to decide how best to put myself together. It's frustrating because at my new found glory there just isn't that much to choose from as far as attire is concerned. I've outgrown everything and apparently designers think people at my size love cats, toggles and huge flowers on their clothes. I may have to start making things. I have to somehow regain my youthful enthusiasm tempered with maturity. I think I'm headed in the right direction. My rent will be late this month but I feel what I'm doing is an investment. I need a dress to perform in that is appropriate for an upscale wedding. The band members tend to accent their clothing with some kind of purple article, like a purple vest of some sort. I found a nice black dress and I'm going to accent it with a purple burnout silk velvet shawl. The dress and the shawl cost me a little over $100 so that's not bad at all considering. It was quite a bargain.  My next conquest will be a comfortable pair of shoes that I can stand in front of a crowd without grimacing in. It looks like I will be singing round about 20 songs so I will be on my feet for a good amount of time. That's another thing that worries me is having to stand on my feet all night. Will I be singing backup for the other songs? I guess I'll find all that out at the rehearsal on Wednesday. I refuse to wear grandma shoes though. They have to be comfortable yet stylish. Maybe a 3 inch square heel at the most. I'm actually looking at these. They seem very retro but I wonder if they will be wide enough for my feet. Only one way to know for sure. I think they will work if they fit well. I reckon millions of cross dressers can't be wrong. I'm still looking though so I won't be blowing all my money just yet.
If things go my way, this summer is going to be an action packed adventure. I have a lot of events and travel planned for this summer. I have a trip to Orlando scheduled for June, a trip to Vegas in July and a trip to Indiana at the end of July/beginning of August. Speckled in there are various visits to Tanglewood for concerts and a weekender to NYC. This is also going to require my best foot forward image wise. I've purchased some filler items: underwear, bras, capris, cardigans, etc. Little things to wake up what I already have. AND I'm ready to get crackin on my diet this week. I've got some great ideas and plans for that, something I feel compelled to implement ASAP. I'm really starting to feel sick from all the junk I've been eating and I'm ready to move forward now. I'm thrilled about it actually. We'll see if my research pays off. 
Black Hair Care Chronicles I Black Hair Care Chronicles II Black Hair Care Chronicles III Black Hair Care Chronicles IV Black Hair Care Chronicles V Black Hair Care Chronicles VII | 
