My mom has been a community activist for some 45+ years now. She recieved a lifetime acheivement award and had a building named after her about a month ago. There was much ta-do made about it and I was asked to sing a couple of songs in her honor. Here are some photos from that day I hope you like.
My mom and dad.
Me and my dad. I could barely get close to my mom that day for all the people cloistered around her offering congratulations.
That's me in the foreground taking pictures of her as she arrived. See what I mean? Could barely get a clear shot of her.
I tried for a retro 70s look with my outfit. How did I do?
I make the most insane faces when I sing.
Me enjoying a laugh at the table with family members.
Nothing important to say. Just that today is an historic day if you're in to numbers. Today on 7.8.09 at exactly 12:34 and 56 seconds the numbers 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, and 9 appeared in succession. I would have made a post at 12:34:56 but I was too busy staring at the clock with my mouth open thinking, "OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!!" So instead I created this post at 4:56 pm. Not a bad comeback. The next time this phenomenon happens will the exactly 100 years from now. Hopefully by then we'll all be dead. Just about every disaster ever predicted will be happening then and trust me, you don't want to be around.
Speaking of disasters has anybody seen Justin Timberlake around lately? I would guess his career is in the crapper now that Michael Jackson bit the dirt. Between he and Usher I don't know which one stripped all their moves off of him more. Did you folks see Usher perform at the memorial show yesterday? I thought he was very good. A very touching tribute. No Justin anywhere to be found though from what I could see. He's back at the drawing board probably channeling James Brown for a brand new bag.
And now on to brand new bags. "The boss" asked me for song suggestions. You know, songs that can be added to the wedding band repertoir that I would like to sing. Honeslty I couldn't think of any on the spot when he asked me. I do know that the folks we've performed for so far like dance music. They want to kick off their shoes and cut a rug to some fast paced tunes, motown, disco, etc. We announce a slow song and everyone groans. That's what they start shouting at us from the dance floor during the awkward silences between tunes. I tell you, these patrons are aggressive.
So I sent in some songs I generally like to dance to. Stuff I put in the CD player to get me in the mood when I'm readying to go out. Not willing to stop there I figured I'd turn on the radio to hear what the kids are listening to now. All the music out now is crap. I can't believe it. Not one song was worthy of anybody wanting to play. Even P!nk let me down and she's always been good for dance tune. I suggested a few of hers that I knew of but her songs lately? Not really danceable. Same with Kelly Clarkson. I thought I'd suggest "Walk Away" for one of our sets. I didn't hear anything danceable from her either. Just more beat salad from Lady Gaga. The problem with a lot of these songs is they are so vulgar. You can't do them at weddings with grandparents and kids crawling about. "If You Seek Amy" is definitely out.
Well since I don't have much else to say I guess I'll leave you all with some recent pictures. I went to Orlando Florida two weeks ago for a convention. Gawd I wish I could go back there, it was a lot of fun. Here are some of my favorite pictures from the trip and what I'm looking like lately. Also a few close ups of my hair. I sprayed glitter in it for a festive look. Let me kinow what you think.
In case you all don't know, EVERYBODY is talking about this episode of the Tyra Banks Show. This is how bad it is: I don't even watch TV and I heard about it. Don't get reception at my house and don't have cable but I've seen it. The episode is divided into 5 videos and you can click on the one posted above to see number 1. (If it's still available by the time you read this) You can find the rest at Youtube and the show was interesting to say the least.
First of all I have to commend Tyra for even touching this story. Tyra lives and works in an industry that perpetuates this idea of good hair vs bad hair in the black community. Kinky black hair is seen as a novelty, something exotic when depicted in magazine and print. In the world at large the view is much less flattering. I don't feel her show in its format did near an adequate job of addressing this painful issue that runs so deep in the black community. The show opened all kinds of cans of worms and left them all laying there wiggling with no real closure. This subject is so hyper charged, many are saying Oprah would have done a better job. I disagree. I see real potential for Tyra here. I can't imagine how any adult could view this show and not be disturbed in their spirit, especially after hearing what children as young as 4 years old have to say on the matter about their self esteem. If she can do this one right it will catapult her into a whole other league and I can see it happening. As is stands, there is no way she can leave this story as is. It seems assured that she will come back to this and I hope she does.
I won't recap because the whole show was such a hot mess this post would go on forever if I did. I'm going tro summerize it down. Afrikkan hair as I've discussed before is what is referred to as bad hair. Kinky, nappy, kitchens, brillo and other terms are used to describe our natural hair as is. Back in the days of slavery having 'good' hair meant you actually got to work and live IN the house. You served guests, it meant better food, better treatment from other whites, warmth, etc. It meant you were probably a son or daughter of the master who was mixing it up with one of his slaves. The hair would be fairer, less curly, more like whites, etc. This was considered good hair and people often refered to folks with this kind of hair as 'houseniggas,' a term that in some places is still used today. As you can probably guess this created a strong divide within the black community and some hostility. Sometimes fairer blacks considered themselves better than the others and acted accordingly.
Conversely, kinky hair blacks were often bitter and resentful towards those of fairer complexions and hair grade and would often shun or even abuse fairer blacks. The poor treatment of kinky haired blacks, the way we were viewed, scorned and parodied was a major contributor to this hostility. This attitude unfortunately transaltes all the way up to today. Kinky haired blacks are still viewed as unpolished, jive talking, unprofessional, low class, ugly, dirty, etc. simply because of the natural state of our hair. We quickly learned that with nappy hair it doesn't matter how educated we are, how well we speak, how much we achieve or how well we dress - there was no way we would move ahead or be taken serioulsy unless we conform. To look professional, to be considered beautiful and get ahead in life the way to go was to get your hair straightened.
Straightening is mainly achieved by getting one's hair chemically relaxed. A cream relaxer is placed on the hair and scalp. This chemical breaks the hair down, basically burning the kinks out, and most times part of your scalp along with it. Adults and even children endure this pain every 6 to 8 weeks without blinking. It's pretty much a standard of living just like getting gas for your car. There are people in life who wouldnt be caught dead with naps in their hair. You wouldnt catch them with kinks showing at their roots and they speak poorly of those who don't straighten or who let their hair go too long without a touch-up relaxer at their new roots. In order to look fly you had to have the straight shiny hair that moves when you move even though that is not how our hair is naturally. My own mother hates to see my hair in its natural state.
There is this movement now to stand up and reclaim our nappy roots by any means necessary and fight back the mental slavery to conform. I've been bumming around the scene for a bit, watching videos on youtube, subscribing to a few online communities for encouragement and style tips. I've even raised a militant fist or two in my travels but as time goes on I find myself petering out with this gung ho attitude. For you nappy haired purists don't worry. This doesn't mean I'm looking at going back to relaxers or straightening. I admit that at this stage in my developement I've become bored and discouraged with the look of my hair. My goal is to grow it out so I'm sticking with it, but in the meantime I feel ugly and not my usual glamourous self. Just not the 'me' I'm used to I guess. Maybe it's just a lighter or darker shade of self hatred or something, I don't know, but there it is. I don't want straight hair I just my hair to be less kinky because right now it appears too short now. Grow dammit, grow!!
What occurs to me is that hair is just hair. Whites do crazy assed stuff to their hair all the time to twist it, perm it, color it, cut it, shave it in to whatever they want. Nobody gives them a hard time about their heritage or whatever about it. It's considered a form of artistic self expression. In the rush to reclaim our identities I think we should be careful not to exchange one rule of mental slavery for another. Examining ourselves and our hair choices need not involve a change in style habits or stem from the grade of our hair in its natural state at all. It might only require a re examination of the way we view others because of their hair or skin tone. We need to eliminate words like "housenigga" and "jigaboo" from our vocabulary and embrace ourselves and each other as is. That's the way I feel. Hair is hair and we have choices, choices we should be free to make without being judged or labeled. That's my feeling on the issue and I thought it would have been nice if Tyra wrapped the show up in a neat little bow and presented the ideas like that. That's not how it went down though.
I think that in a perfect world that would have been a perfect ending but as you all know we don't live in a perfect world. The one disturbing story in this show was of one little girl on the panel. She was the only one who had natural kinky hair. It was done up in little braids with bows and cute little holders. She hated her hair and so did every other child on the panel. She carried with her a Hanna Montana wig which she said she wanted to wear all the time because she felt she and her hair were ugly. She was only happy when she had that rediculous wig on top of her head and you could see her change right before your eyes when she put it on. It was heartbreaking to hear the little girl talk about her own hair with such shame, dispair and sadness.
Tyra wore her hair in cornrows for the show. She didn't have her usual weave extensions to make her hair look long and straight. At one point in the show Tyra showed pictures of herself as a little girl and how kinky her hair was. Probably not as kinky as the little girl doing the talking but I digress. Her hair was done similarly in little braids and she tried to convince the girl that her hair was beautiful. The girl said she wanted to wear the Hanna wig all the time. Tyra created a nice little train wreck and nervous laughter in the audience by saying she also owns a Hanna Montana wig and wears it all the time. That seemed an awful lot like a slam to her own natural hair that just seconds earleir she was trying to convince a 5 year old was pretty. It was like a smack in the head with a true-by-four. Tyra is in an industry where she wouldnt be Tyra without her wigs and extensions. Underneath it all she's a nappy headed girl just like the little one with quivering lip before her but she can't be that and still be considered beautiful and be successful. And to speak the truth meant telling the little girl that everything she thinks about the salvation in that Hanna wig is true. Tyra is living it every day.
There was another little girl on the show who had long black straight hair. Looked like chemical to me but whatever. The little black girl's hair went down to the backs of her knees practically. She complained of kids in school pulling out chunks of her hair, picking on her and saying her hair smells like boo boo. Horrible story and so sad. As sad as the other girl's story. Tyra then responded to her by saying that the other kids were just jealous - with the first girl sitting right there with the Hanna wig flopped on top of her head. Her responses to the girls didn't do much good I don't think.
Here's a little pet peeve of mine that I've never voiced. I notice that whites often are strongly in favor of black women going natural. There is sometimes a fascinationg with our hair and some have even said they wish their hair was as versatile. This enthusiasm rubs me the wrong way sometimes. I wasn't sure why and felt a little taken aback by it. I think what is most irritating to me is the fact that our hair is still a novelty. Whites will often walk up to me and touch my hair unprovoked and uninvited. With grins on their faces they will go on and on about how fascinating my hair is and how it's always in a different style. Now granted I've raved about how unique some woman's natural/unnatural color is or how much I love the cut or the style. I've complimented a nice 'do that seemed flattering on someone but there is never a 'You People' feel to my compliments. "You white folks and your hairstyles. So fascinating the things you can do." Somehow to me that seems demeaning.
But I digress. I feel the Tyra show fell short of addressing this issue in a neat little package. In her defense though, doing so was a tough job. Especially in view of all those children on the show and the demons they have at such a tender age already about their hair. I'm not certain even Tyra has examined it closely herself and may have been a bit caught off guard with her exploratory mission. I think we have a long way to go as a community. I do hope Tyra tackles the subject again.
So I've been laying low around here trying to keep a secret from you all. The thing is I don't know who reads this blog so I wasn't sure if it was safe to post my news here or if I would jinx it all somehow. At this point I've got to fill you all in. The names have all been changed to protect everyone but the sleezbags who run Bank of America so get yourself a drink and some snacks, sit back and prepare to be briefed on the latest.
I was contacted by an old friend of mine exactly a month ago. She said there was this amazing band who was looking for a singer to do a wedding gig with them on May 22. She recommended me and the guy who runs the band was waiting to hear from me. At first I wasn't feeling it. It would require that I actually get up off my ass and produce something which I was strongly opposed to. Plus I don't have a car which makes everything in the entire world inconvenient.
Also I was scared shitless. I prance about here like a cocky fat strumpet but I'm not nearly as self confident as I appear. I like myself well enough and think I'm somewhat together looks wise but I know that is not what everyone thinks. People hate fat people in this world and all the civil rights arguments in the world aren't going to change that. Big fat woman = ugly, period. For years this has kept me from doing certain things. This is not some imaginary hangup like the rest of you frauds out there struggle with. It's an ACTUAL thing! People like me are discussed behind closed conference room doors. What are they going to do about us? We're epidemics, we're a drain on the ozone layer, we are incompetant, we are overwhelming the population while we're too fat to bear offspring all at the same time - and we make babies cry. We're often seen as headless torsos walking about on news programs with grave language talking about diabetes, heart disease, restaurant closings, swine flu and airline travel worries.
I won't make this post longer than it has to be. So I will just say that some form of bold reasoning had me go on ahead and try for it. Not to mention the promise of $350.00. Shees, how long have I been bitching on here about putting out all the time musically and never getting paid for it? I've day dreamed about doing this sort of thing for almost the whole of my life. It would have been foolish of me to say no and somehow through the haze of paralyzing fear I was aware of that on some level. I timidly replied and things shot off quickly from there. I was pretty much offered the gig without even being heard yet which is astonishing to me. That old friend must have talked me up something fierce.
This band is comprised of the creme de la creme of local area musicians who are paid for their time and now so will I. These aren't your garden variety garage band deadbeats. These were mostly older more seasoned musicians with wife and kids. The drummer seems young though. In his 20s, a student at Berklee College of Music, very good and quite funny. I like him. In fact, I like them all. The guy who runs it felt it would be really important for me to get along well with the other band members. Despite my fear I made an effort to be warm and friendly, introducing myself unprovoked. It wasn't saccharin, just trying to be myself only a little bit better. People seemed pretty nice in return.
I had three weeks to learn 30 songs and improvise 10 harmonies. We had three rehearsals where we probably got a chance to run a song once and then discard even if it was bad. There was supposed to be another singer with us but unfortunatley he couln't make any of the rehearsals so I wasn't going to meet him till the day of the gig. The day before that wedding I had a major anxiety attack. I left the office feeling like my innards were going to cave in and I might suffocate. I was horrified and thought I might be crazy. How did I get in to this mess? My reputation will be ruined if this goes bad. The plan was for me to hitch a ride to the wedding with one of the band members and the wedding was to take place outdoors under a tent on a beach. I had to leave work early and meet him in Malden for the drive and I brought three different outfits with me so I could choose at the last minute. I decided to wear the black dress and the purple burnout silk velvet scarf. It matched what the rest of the band had on: black suit, white shirt, purple brocade vest.
The day of the gig I felt surprisingly normal and enthusiastic. I guess I got the butterflies out. Making the long drive to CT was okay. I got to chat up the guitarist whom I now have a crush on. When we got to the venue I got the meet the other singer who I also have a crush on. We got to chat and I was completely honest with him. Told him I'd never done anything like that before in my life and had only sung karaoke. That I had only just met those people three weeks prior and we had three rehearsals for 30 songs I had never sung before. Yeah, I did it on purpose to scare the shit out of him. Hey, I was telling the truth though! I wanted him to think, "Who the hell dug up this vagabond?" LOL He was completly nice though. Nurturing would be the word I'd used to describe his attitude towards me. I liked him right away. What a nice guy.
I opened the gig with Me, Myself and I by Billie Holiday. When I finished I got a round of aplause from a table full of older people and a surprised but approving look from my fellow singer. By the second song people actually got up to dance and from then on they never sat down again. Before long the whole lot of them were up and these people danced to every song. After the second or third song the other singer looked at me with his mouth seriously agape. His eyes were wide with amazement and awe as if he never expected me to be that good or that seasoned a performer. That part really made me feel good.
Back to the wedding party though. It's clear they all love music and some are avid concert goers. They requested in advance a song by Jack Johnson, Phish and Soulive. When we played those songs they sang all the words. Both children and adults, young and old, crowded that tiny dance floor having a ball and screaming at us for more. They loved everything.
We were ending the gig with Proud Mary, the Ike and Tina Turner rendition. I announced the last song before I begun and folks, I sang the sh*t out of that song. I love me some Ike and Tina. I had such a blast when that fast section came up in the end and sang like I was barelling down that river myself. I swung the mic stand down in my fists and sang down in to it dancing to the beat and motioning towards the crowd. The crowd was litterally in a frenzy by this time. When we finished they screamed for another despite my telling them it was the last song. The bass player and sax player were unplugging and wrapping up their gear and the crowd began to lurch forward and chant, "ONE MORE SONG! ONE MORE SONG!" I turned around to face the band quizically knowing danged well there was no way we were going to get out of there alive if we didn't play something else. We plugged back in and ended with KC and the Sunshine Band's Play That Funky Music White Boy. The crowd seemed pleased, rendered their last rousing applause and finally began to disperse while we dismantled. One after another people approached us raving about the music and the singing.
This all sounds like it was a dream but it wasn't. It was real. All of it. I still feel like any minute now lightening is going to strike me down and I will be killed instantly. I feel like something I dreamed of for my whole life finally happened, and it was better than I dreamed it. It just can't possibly get better. When I got home I checked inside the small compartment in my bag to see if the check was still there and there it was. All weekend long I would suddenly rip the bag open and look inside the little pocket just to see it again just to remind me that what happened really did happen.
Which brings me to the next chapter of this tale. Why Bank of America (BoA) sucks. The folks who hired me out to do this gig paid me $350.00 written via a personl check. It was a business account, not that any of that matters really. This afternoon I took it to a local Bank of America which is the institution for which this check was issued. I looked in my wallet before I went and noticed that my bank card was missing. I must have taken it out last night and forgot to put it back in my wallet so it's at home somewhere. I needed cash and was hungry so I decided to go to BoA to cash the check since I had my ID with me.
I go to the bank and after being ushered round and round was told that the bank charges $6 to cash the check. SIX DOLLARS!!! Can you believe that 'ish? Like a dummy I was about to go through with it but at the last minute aborted. I was aprehensive (stupidly so) about going to my credit union, which is across the street from BoA, because of the missing bank card. Then suddenly it dawned on me that not only do they not need it but they have my ID on file. I technically don't need anything to do business in my credit union, I could just walk in and withdraw and deposit if I like. So that is exactly what I did. While I was at BoA they were trying to entice me to open an account there. Are you crazy? When the feds catch up with them they're going to have to pay up for such highway robbery and guess who's going to have to pony the bill? No way do I want a penny of my money in there. SIX dollard to cash a check. So ghetto. I could have taken that check to Griffy's Liquor Store on Amory Street, paid about the same price and would have been happy to do so. The money helps a small business owner and brings joy and happiness to thousand of drunks all over the commonwealth. No way am I going to give another handout to bank execs.
So I finally went ahead and colored the gray. I wasn't really crazy about the gray in the front of my hair. Made me look old in my view which comes in handy on the subway. In real life, not so much. I just wasn't sure what I wanted to do. Maybe go red or blonde just to see what it's like? My hair is so short now that I felt I might be able to play with it a bit more before it grows in to my full fro. I recall in the past that each time I lightened my hair I was unhappy with it and wished I had either left the chemicals out or gone black instead. I made the decision that going black would be the best thing.
The only problem though is that when I went black before the black color never lasted. It didn't really cover all the gray or have any staying power no matter how 'Permanent' the dye claimed to be. Also I was apprehensive about using a chemical on my hair. I've come so far in going natural. I didn't want to lessen the integrity of my hair, at least not too much. The only dye that seems to saturate the gray and avoid chemicals that are too harsh is Natural Instincts Midnight Black. Don't be fooled folks, Natural Instincts does have a mild chemical in it. You'll know as soon as you smell it or feel it on the rosacea around the nose. Ouch! I could live with the levels though. The only problem with the NI is that it is TOO black. It comes out an unnatural black that makes me look like an old person trying to look young, something I didn't want. The next color down from that was Egyptian Plum which wasn't what I wanted either.
I decided to go with the Midnight black and temper it with some Manic Panic Divine Wine. So what do you think? I still find it a bit dark but it seems to have toned down in subsequent washes. I didn't think it would because I expected to see dye released every time I cowashed. This did NOT happen. The stuff didn't stain at all like I thought it would. I feared it would stay overly dark but it seems to have gotten better. I suppose overall I'm happy with it. Much happier than having the ashen look of graying temples. My problem now is I hate having short hair.
I feel like I need a change. Going back to perms is out of the question. I thought I might have it blown or pressed straight but I don't like the idea of putting heat on my hair. I'm thinking of going and getting some braids put in but the braids are so danged expensive. May hair is in good condition and doing well, I'm just getting impatient with it. Going natural is such a big commitment. Getting to the point where I want to be will take years. In the meantime I am living with hair that isn't really me, or at least it isn't what I'm used to. I will say though that caring for it hasn't been the big problem I thought it would be. It's soft and manageable, something I was told even as a child my hair could never be in its natural state. Dealing with this hair has been easier than any hairstyle I've ever had. Product usage is minimal. In the above picture I cowashed and sprayed my hair with glitter. I added some violet color contacts just for flair but it just wasn't the same. Not as dramatic as I prefer to be for a special evening. The hair always looks the same and I'm getting bored and frustrated not being able to change my look according to the occasion and the mood.
Since the last time I posted a Chronicle a lot has happened. I discovered that my hair responds poorly to conditioners with silicones in it. Silicon, Dimethicone - any conditioner with a 'cone in it will hinder the curls. Silicone is added to most conditioners as an ingredient to enhance hair's shine. Basically what it does is it coats the entire hair shaft in a thin sheet of plastic. Unfortunately this additive confuses the curl patterns in my hair. From what I discovered online this is very common for people with curly hair, hence the term "cone free conditioner" has become a catch phrase. Just about every conditioner on the market has 'cones in it except for the deep protein conditioners all of which are too strong for my purposes. Protein conditioners tend to make hair hard. It's used mostly to restore strength to hair that has been damaged through coloring, chemicals and environmental stress. Otherwise it's not really what I need.
Thankfully the solution was a lot simpler than what I thought it might be. Alberto VO5 came to my rescue as all of the conditioners are completely cone free. Also they are all only 99 cents a bottle. I can cowash with them every day if I like and it would still be economical. The only thing that irks me about the conditioners is that they have very strong fragrances to them. I dread what bugs and flying varmints will circle about my head this summer smelling the champagne, camomile and melon smoothie fragrances seeped into my hair shaft. I'd rather have something that is fragrance free though I doubt that will keep the bugs away. They seemed to always love my hair no matter what but that was when it was permed. Who knows what will happen now.
All I know is that I've been feeling really discouraged about my hair lately. Everything about it going better than I imagined so I shouldn't be. I'm just not happy with the look right now. I know that going natural is a big commitment. It takes a lot of patience and when my hair finally gets to the stage where I want it to be the rewards will be so worth it. I just have to stick to it but there are days when it's hard. Wigs look so cheap and trifling but I'm thinking I may go that rout just to break things up a bit. *sigh* I don't know. I do know that I've blown a few pence on clothes this week due to insecurities about my hair. Retail therapy.
Some News: I'm 95% sure I've got a paying gig coming up! A friend of mine from high school tipped me off to this band that is looking for four singers. They want two female and two male vocalists for their high end band that performs at upscale weddings and other venues. The band members are made up of Boston Pops players, Berklee College of Music faculty members and various freelance artists. They've been around for a while but I guess they are trying to start a second band with a second set of singers and have been looking. My name was put in the hat as a possible candidate and I have a rehearsal with them this Wednesday.
My shopping spree and critical assessment of my image is partly due to this new set of circumstances. For quite some time I've been letting myself go. My mission was to let myself go and then build up from there into something that was livable and appropriate to the person I am. Unfortunately life does tend to go on without you so in my quest things have been coming up that require me to speed things up. Couple that with my hair having no versatility and it has been a rather grim picture compared to the flashy street diva I used to be. At one time I had things on hand for whatever came up. Lately my focus has been more on being comfortable with no fuss. Not that there's anything wrong with that, I like it and it will still be my focus. But music and performing is all about image and I've always done well with that. Lately not so much.
So I'm forging my way ahead anew, looking myself over and trying to decide how best to put myself together. It's frustrating because at my new found glory there just isn't that much to choose from as far as attire is concerned. I've outgrown everything and apparently designers think people at my size love cats, toggles and huge flowers on their clothes. I may have to start making things. I have to somehow regain my youthful enthusiasm tempered with maturity. I think I'm headed in the right direction. My rent will be late this month but I feel what I'm doing is an investment. I need a dress to perform in that is appropriate for an upscale wedding. The band members tend to accent their clothing with some kind of purple article, like a purple vest of some sort. I found a nice black dress and I'm going to accent it with a purple burnout silk velvet shawl. The dress and the shawl cost me a little over $100 so that's not bad at all considering. It was quite a bargain.
My next conquest will be a comfortable pair of shoes that I can stand in front of a crowd without grimacing in. It looks like I will be singing round about 20 songs so I will be on my feet for a good amount of time. That's another thing that worries me is having to stand on my feet all night. Will I be singing backup for the other songs? I guess I'll find all that out at the rehearsal on Wednesday. I refuse to wear grandma shoes though. They have to be comfortable yet stylish. Maybe a 3 inch square heel at the most. I'm actually looking at these. They seem very retro but I wonder if they will be wide enough for my feet. Only one way to know for sure. I think they will work if they fit well. I reckon millions of cross dressers can't be wrong. I'm still looking though so I won't be blowing all my money just yet.
If things go my way, this summer is going to be an action packed adventure. I have a lot of events and travel planned for this summer. I have a trip to Orlando scheduled for June, a trip to Vegas in July and a trip to Indiana at the end of July/beginning of August. Speckled in there are various visits to Tanglewood for concerts and a weekender to NYC. This is also going to require my best foot forward image wise. I've purchased some filler items: underwear, bras, capris, cardigans, etc. Little things to wake up what I already have. AND I'm ready to get crackin on my diet this week. I've got some great ideas and plans for that, something I feel compelled to implement ASAP. I'm really starting to feel sick from all the junk I've been eating and I'm ready to move forward now. I'm thrilled about it actually. We'll see if my research pays off.
Hey, I was telling the truth though! I wanted him to think, "Who the hell dug up this vagabond?" LOL He was completly nice though. Nurturing would be the word I'd used to describe his attitude towards me. I liked him right away. What a nice guy. 
